Frequently Asked Questions

  • It was the year 1613, six years after Jamestown was founded. A determined 25 year old man named Joseph Cobb stood on the dock in London preparing to board the ship, the Treasurer, for the New World. He was a gentleman, “entitled by rank to wear a sword and trained by experience to use them.” He left behind his wife Elizabeth and their two young sons, Joseph Jr and Benjamin and ages 3 and 1, with the promise that he would return for them when the time was right. According to DNA research he is not my ancestor but in case he might be yours I have included a blog post of his story for you.

  • Admittedly, these genealogy terms can be very confusing.

    Here is a quick tutorial. First cousins are the people in your family who have two of the same grandparents as you. Second cousins have the same great-grandparents as you, but not the same grandparents. Third cousins have in common two great-great-grandparents.

    Removed represents the number of generations that separate cousins. Your mother’s first cousin would be your first cousin, once removed. Your grandmother’s first cousin would be your first cousin twice removed.

  • Eerily, according to the bible, “the sins of the father are visited upon the son.”  There is a large body of epigenetic research suggests that trauma can actually alter DNA.  Altered DNA in combination with learned behavior can be passed down through multiple generations.  Violence begets violence: abused sons become abusers, abused daughters marry violent men. Alcoholic and gambling addictions pass from parent to child to grandchild. Fathers who suffer from wartime PTSD are more likely to have sons who suffer from wartime PTSD. Holocaust survivors are more likely to have children and grandchildren who suffer from mental health issues.   

    DNA was discovered in 1860, but it was not until the 1980s that it was used to establish paternity. It was not until 1986 that it was used to establish evidence in a  murder  investigation. In 1996  Scottish  scientist’s cloned a  sheep named  Dolly.  In the early 2000s epigenetics became a major field of study.  I highly suggest you read up on the topic, it’s fascinating.

    In one epigenetic study, a mouse was given an electric shock while it sniffed a cherry blossom. Three generations later its offspring exhibited an aversion to the smell of cherry blossoms even though they had never been shocked.  Do we inherit our history?  You bet we do.  The history of my Bland family ancestors begins with a massacre, followed by generational mayhem and murder.  Read their blog post for all the shocking details.  Did the terrible tragedy that beset my fifth great grandparents, Osborne and Lettice Bland, get passed on to other generations?  I think it’s very possible. Check out this you tube video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHC41L3-Uho

  • Heroes touch our heart and fill us with admiration.  What makes a hero a hero?  You guessed it – a combination of nature and nurture.  My ancestor Major General Bryan Grimes Jr clearly had the hero gene.  He’s not the guy who committed a onetime act of bravery – the kind where someone runs into a burning building and rescues  a stranger. He’s the  guy with a “white knight syndrome”  – who puts himself in danger continuously with no apparent regard for his own safety.   Psychologists claim this syndrome often stems from childhood experiences of trauma, emotional neglect or being forced to take on adult roles as a child especially when it comes to caring for a parent.  My genealogical research did not uncover any information that would explain Bryan Jr’s behavior, but his actions make for interesting reading Check out the Grimes Family Blog to read more about him.  Spoiler alert - white knights do not live long lives.

  • The DAR stands for Daughters of the American Revolution. Although the DAR is often satirized as a group of  snobby  “ladies who lunch”, they have made extremely significant contributions to the field of genealogy.    Interestingly, the organization was formed in 1890 when the Sons of the American Revolution refused to allow women to join and they reacted by becoming very active in the suffragette movement.  Currently its membership is five times as large as that of its male counterpart. Unfortunately, the DARs early politics were deeply rooted in white supremacist ideals. In 1957 it refused to allow a celebrated black opera singer to perform at Constitution Hall because of her race.  Ironically the American Revolution was about freedom, yet the DAR at times worked to suppress it. Currently it is engaged in discussions about whether transgender women should be allowed to join and its website says bias and intolerance have no place in the DAR or in America.

    In 1925 the DAR named one of their Chapter houses and constructed a monument in honor of Major Benjamin May, my 5th great-grandfather. Check out the May Family blog to learn about this family. Whether you embrace or reject the DAR’s political agenda, somehow having a relative that served in the American Revolution and finding out the DAR has rewarded them for their contributions, gives you that insuppressible glowing feeling.

  • When my parents retired they both became obsessed with their ancestry. They traipsed all over the United States and to England, Scotland and St Kitts, visiting grave sites, foraging through dusty reference materials in libraries and city halls, writing hundreds of letters to piece together their ancestral roots. Between 1976 and 1981 my father published three genealogy books: “Cobb Chronicles,” “Cobb and Cobbs — Early Virginians” and “The Complete Book of Doing the Family History.” My mother published 2 of her own: “ Rodgers-Hearne and Related Families” in 1997 and “Tillitt, Sanderlin and Related Families” in 2005.

    Their books and family stories were the starting point for my own research, which benefited from the internet access my parents didn’t have when they wrote their books. The documentation for my research is found the ancestry.com‍ ‍where I store the various documents to support my stories.